Letters Of Complaint

Dear Fabric & Craft Stores,

First I would like to say that I understand the need to make money. I mean, this has been a tough year for businesses - franchised and locally owned. And I understand the desire to draw customers in by displaying things to fuel their creativity.

But ... is it really necessary to put out your animatronic Halloween displays in the middle of July? I mean, come on! I don't like escaping into your store from the 95° weather outside, only to be greeted by the wailing of ghosts and cackling of witches. Furthermore, I am a HUGE fan of the autumn season and I start to yearn for it every time I pass by your isle of clove and cinnamon scented candles.

Please have mercy on one of your best customers.

Respectfully yours,
Longing For Hot Cider And Chunky Wool Sweaters

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Dear Nutrisystem Marketers:

I am confident that your diet plan works. You have many famous celebrities and "regular people" to attest to that. However, is it necessary to have your mini-infomercial play EVERY commercial break? Do you really believe that monopolizing the airwaves with your gibberish about how good your pasta and burgers are is well received?

Truth be told, I either roll my eyes, mute the TV, or leave the room every time that annoying Gillian-what's-her-name talks about how cool she is because she can catch a football. Big whoop! And really I probably wouldn't be so annoyed with your commercials if you didn't play them so frequently.

Sincerely,
The Most Annoyed TV Watcher EVER

Just Another Manic Morning

Having a child in preschool has really changed my life. I have to be more organized about getting everyone out the door in the morning; I start to get very excited over the thought of watching my baby in the upcoming Christmas program; and I volunteer to help out in the classroom from time to time. But nothing quite prepared me for the chaos that takes place when I take my daughter to school!

The preschool is run at a local church in my community and is located in a residential street. It is a very nice facility with good sized classrooms and a fun playground. But the parking lot is like Hades on a busy day. The parking spaces are very narrow, which wouldn't be a problem except everyone in this town drives an SUV, truck, or a behemoth-mobile of some sort (myself included, I drive a Honda Pilot). NOBODY knows how to park in these spaces! Most people just straddle the line, making it impossible for anyone else to park. And while this is a "Christian" preschool, some of the bumper stickers that grace these vehicles are not very "clean" in their message.

Then there are the cell phones. I never thought of my town as being tech-savvy, but everyone has a cell phone. And fellow parents like to use them ... a lot. I am amazed at while shuttling their children off to class, people can carry on complete conversations about "that guy Mindy is seeing on Friday night" or about "preparing for hernia surgery next week". Unfortunately this constant use of cell phones does not help in the challenges of trying to navigate through that parking lot, especially one-handed.

I am used to a slower pace and a more relaxed approach to things. And though I am still adapting, I have survived the last few months of getting my daughter to school. On a slightly different subject, I feel that I am raising a diva. Occasionally on the way home from school I will drive up to the Human Bean for a coffee, and when we pull up my girl will say "I would like a 'Not-So-Hot Hot Chocolate' with whipped cream and a bean"! Now that's a girl who knows what she wants!

I Have a Bone to Pick

Fast food is not too common in our household. It has been over a year since I have had Taco Bell, Arby's is getting too expensive, and there isn't much that I like from Burger King. McDonald's is considered a bad word in our family (okay, not really), and we NEVER eat there. Still I crave a cheeseburger on occasion and I like Wendy's.

For years I have been ordering the same thing from them: a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger - with NO MAYO, medium fries, and sometimes a small soda. I figure I am saving the burger assemblers a step by requesting no mayonnaise ... so why is there always the evil sauce on my cheeseburger when I receive it? Do they not read my order when making the food? Do they have a bunch of hamburgers sitting around pre-made? What's wrong with these people?

So then when I find mayo on my burger I knock on the window, tell them that I requested NO MAYO. Then give me a perturbed look, take the sandwich from me and make a production of throwing it in the trash. News flash to the employees: READ my order to avoid having to throw away otherwise perfectly edible food, ticking off your customers, and causing the people lined up behind me to wait until you get my order right.

Whew, I just had to get that out. I feel a little better.