My Dirty Little Secret

I am working on trying not to be so attached to things. If I haven't worn a sweater in the last three years, it's probably time to move that sweater along, for example.

So ... I guess it's time to get rid of all of the Martha Stewart Living magazines I have been hoarding since 1999, huh?!

Yeah, I really should be ashamed of myself - I don't even want to think about how much all of that paper weighs!

It's true, I have had this magazine for over 10 years now. I have had it for longer than I have been married!

Those Pesky Killer Skunks

Tylenol PM is something that I am grateful for. There are times as a Fibromyalgic when I need a good night's rest and the comfort of pain relief. However, I think it makes me trip out in my sleep a little!

Take Sunday night, for example. Due to some back troubles I had been having, I decided to take a half dose just to help me have a better quality of sleep and to ease pain. Earlier that evening, my husband and I were watching some old episodes of 30 Rock (and by old I mean last season!) and I smelled something rather horrific. I thought at first that maybe our dog was passing some toxic gas, but then the odor became unmistakable ... SKUNK! The smell was so bad it was like the skunk was sitting ON our couch with us. Immediately we started closing the windows in hopes of minimizing the damage.

As we were headed to bed, my husband suggested that maybe a skunk got into our backyard and couldn't figure out how to get back out.

Not very comforting.

Then he said that I should survey the backyard tomorrow before letting the dog out after her breakfast.

It was those words that influenced my dreams last night ... my dreams of KILLER SKUNKS!

It was like that scene from Signs when aliens were trying to get into that farmhouse! The radio warned us not to go outside. We were holed up in our house armed with a tiny air pistol and a squirt bottle. The killer skunks roamed our backyard, spraying the stench every which way. Their eyes glowed red as their jagged teeth gnashed at our back door. And I was dreaming this all while I was breathing in the lingering pungent fragrance that wafted through our house.

Lesson learned: never take a non-habit forming sleep aid of any dosage while skunks or any wildlife have been passing through your property!

Mommy Brain

Other moms know what I am talking about when I say "mommy brain". There is something that happens to a woman after having children that makes her become forgetful and confused at times. I have had a case of the mommy brain twice in the last week ... real bad.

Every two weeks my son's physical therapist comes over to the house to track his progress and give tips for how to encourage his walking. Last Wednesday I was sitting in my office, working, and I thought to myself that it was probably about time for another visit from her. I looked at my calendar and saw that I had her down for a visit the next week, then I went about my business. Suddenly the doorbell rang and sure enough, it was her. I looked at her like "Hello, nice to see you ... but what are you doing here?". She gave me a look like "Good morning, why are you looking at me that way, I am supposed to be here." I told her to come on in, but that I wasn't expecting her until the 15th, to which she replied that it was the 15th! I was off by an entire week! I foolishly thought it was the 8th and my face turned scarlet red as I tried to nonchalantly pick up my shoes that were lying on the floor and fold a blanket that sat mussed on the couch.

And then there was yesterday. I went grocery shopping and bought some loose leaf tea from the bulk section. I remember scooping the tea into the bags, labeling them with the appropriate bulk number and that's about it. So when I was unloading my grocery bags yesterday, I was confused as to why I couldn't find them. I checked my cupboard multiple times ... they weren't there. I retraced my steps and thought that maybe I had left them in the bulk section, but after checking my receipt I found that I had paid for them. Well, then the checker must not have included them in my bags! So I called the store, asking if they were still in the check-out line I had used, and there was no sign of them. I was going crazy! I wanted my tea, I didn't want to have to make a trip all the way back to the store to get more, and I was mostly frustrated that I couldn't figure out what happened.

Later I found the bags of tea in the crisper drawer in my refrigerator. Because why wouldn't they be in there?

See ... mommy brain!

I Could Never Be Eleni

Several years ago I was watching Martha Stewart. She had a guest on her show that owned bakery in New York called Eleni's Cookies. Eleni demonstrated how they bake, frost, package and sell dozens of cookies a day. It was pretty inspiring. That she uses sugar cookies as her palette and makes a living a selling her works of art.

So, yesterday as I was baking sugar cookies with my daughter I thought I would attempt to create fabulous works of art like Eleni.

Oh why do I do this to myself?

I am famous for taking on projects that are very time consuming and labor intensive and this was no exception! I can't just make frosting like normal people ... no! I have to make royal icing and try to create seamless images on my goofy looking cookies. Needless to say, I was not prepared for the amount of time it takes to ice these dang things and I am beginning to wonder if it was worth it.

To illustrate my point:

These are Eleni's cookies. They are uniform, full of color and detail. A real thing of beauty!

These are my cookies. My lamb looks like a llama, the cookies are shaped funny, and I got so burnt out of icing them, I only made two colors.

Why anyone would want to do this exhausting work for a living is beyond me. Don't worry, I won't quit my day job.

On The First Day of December My True Love Gave To Me ...

... The Curse of Clumsiness!

November went by so fast! It feels like it was just Halloween and here I am on December 1st, listening to a Bing Crosby Christmas album on the record player, driving on slippery roads, and trying not to panic that I barely have any shopping done!

To further my strange mood, I went to Starbucks today because they have joined the (PRODUCT)RED efforts in saving lives in Africa. If you buy a specialty drink from them they will donate 5¢ of the cost to the Global Fund. I thought to myself that I might as well support such a cause and get a great cup of coffee while I am at it.

I ordered a Peppermint Mocha Twist, which is usually too sweet for me at 9:00 in the morning, but I was feeling festive. It was delicious ... that is the three sips of it that I had. I managed to carry my drink and my son to the car without slipping on the black ice in the parking lot. I managed to successfully open the door and get my son into his car seat. Then I managed to bump my full coffee cup and all of the contents spilled onto the asphalt. My precious - and may I add, expensive - drink is now a wet mess on the ground. At least some of my money is going to a good cause, even if I never had the chance to enjoy my blissful concoction.

On a good note, my son had a great old time because the barista who made my drink asked if he could give my boy a cupful of whipped cream. I thought it was a strange offering, but let me tell you my son LOVED it! But then, who wouldn't love a cupful of whipped cream?

My drink had whipped cream. Peppermint whipped cream. With chocolate shavings. Sigh.

It's All in My Head ... Right?

Tell me, why do I insist on torturing myself? My husband has been gone since Sunday on a business trip, so it is up to me to provide a secure and pleasant environment for my children and for myself. So, why in heaven's name would I allow myself to get sucked into watching a movie on TV about spiders? Arachnophobia. Why, why would I watch such a thing considering I severely dislike bugs, spiders in particular ... and grasshoppers, but that's another story.

I don't watch much TV, especially in the summer. I have been doing a great job of keeping myself busy to pass the time until my husband gets home. So I am completely puzzled as to why I would not immediately push the off button but instead watch in suspense, unable to turn away from the disgusting, creepy crawlers. All day long I have had the feeling that bugs are crawling on me. In the car I scared my daughter as I screamed, pulling at my hair because I was sure that a spider was moving around on my head. Last night as I was taking the garbage out, I saw a huge arachnid on my driveway. After that movie I am now convinced that it is a Venezuelan killer spider that has set out to breed and come after me. Or is it all in my head? Man, I hope so!